dream a little dream

there's a reason I love music, it has a way of describing your exact feelings in a way that you would never think of.
Tonight it's this song



limbo exists underneath the sheets
where I am neither awake nor asleep
when my mind can wander through
the contents of the boxes labeled
joy and keep

i wish i could live in limbo
or pass through to the other side
because where you exist
inside my mind
seems to be where dream
and reality divide

I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it

Nothing new really, well I guess in this case it's no one new. It's Christmas, the happiest day of the year. The day we celebrate Christ's birth and spend time with the people we love most.
It's just a bit sad when some of the people you love most, for example... I don't know, Dan?... are half way around the world. Family is wonderful, and I could probably take most of my friends in a "my family is way cooler than your family" contest, but I could have done the same with a boyfriend/best friend contest. Anyway those are my thoughts of the day.

Merry Christmas everyone!

The Christmas-y-est picture I could find... cause I'm wearing red.
Look at Dan's cute baby face, he is so grown up now :)

friendship is the best present

fDespite the fact that the title is super cheesy, it is also true.
I have wonderful friends and I always take them for granted.
Thanks to all of my friends, past and present, for being there for me. I love you guys.

Me, Laura, Brock, and Pono with our "gingerbread" houses


though you're gone, you're still the best friend I have ever had
though you're gone, I tell you everything inside my head
though I'm sad, I know that this is not the end
because I know I'll "get by with a little help from my friends"**

**John Lennon

The Nutcracker

I have gone to the Nutcracker almost every year since I was a very young girl and it never fails me. It is one of my families holiday traditions. The Pacific Northwest Ballet is my favorite, the backdrops are done by Maurice Sendak, the illustrator of Where the Wild Things Are. They are so beautifully done. Christmas is never complete without the music and beauty that is Nutcracker

Ich vermisse dich
Ich liebe dich

but without one

(Trees at Snoqualmie Falls )

Never have I witnessed so many shades of green
A sight I wish I could show the world
No leaf or branch is the same as the next
but without one, the effect would not be the same.

memories

why is it now that I want
your hand in mine
the most
with this spirit of
sharing
and caring
and love in the air
the smiles on faces
feel distant
memories bring them back
for awhile
the cold feels
like it comes out of me
surrounding
and seeping
in my skin again
but memories keep out the cold

for awhile

One more semester down

So I realize that I have been a bit blog negligent recently but I have a good excuse.
My 6 papers, 20 volunteer hours, and 5 finals that I have had to do in the last 2 weeks.
Don't worry though, it's all over and there was some fun a long the way like:
Christmas parties
Hanging with Ke'ala at DI
Ribbon dancing in the quad
watching movies
bubble wrap dance party

Just to name a few.
Any way I am finally home!
It is so nice to be back in the beautiful North West!
Thank you to all of my awesome friends, roommates, and family who made this semester really quite amazing!

Fabulous Black Friday

Such a great Black Friday. We conquered Target, J. C. Penny's, GAP, and lots of other stores. And we saved about as much as we spent! It was a great shopping day with the best shopping team in the world. Shopping with my Grandma, Mother, Aunt Christy, and sister Hannah is the best. Hannah was the place holder in line, Christy was the secret weapon, Mom was the team captain, and Grandma was the coach. I'm not quite sure what I am... Hannah says I'm the stylist.
The day was ended with quality family time including the necessary pictures, putting finishing touches on Dan's Christmas package, Ukulele, and Mexican Train.

I kicked some mexican train booty by the way

ALSO! It's now officially OK to listen to Christmas Music!

Thanksgiving/Black Friday Eve

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Family, food, entertainment, and planning of black Friday shopping. I got to sleep in because it snowed and we decided it would be dangerous to do the Turkey Trot, we made lots of food, ate lots of food, went to Tangled (cute movie), and ate more food. We ended the day with delicious pie (2 pumpkin, 1 apple, 1 ice cream-all for 13 people), mapping out our black Friday plan, and wii. Great day.

Delicious Thanksgiving Dinner- The turkey was worth the work
ps. it's a smile :)

I'm thankful for lots of things:

My family/friends-They are wonderful, I couldn't ask for a better family. They are some of my best friends. I also have wonderful friends, I actually have always been blessed with really great friends and I don't show them how much I appreciate them.
Church-I wouldn't have anything without my religion. I don't think my family would be as close, I wouldn't be going to BYU, I wouldn't have met my best friends including Dan, I wouldn't have the close relations to people that I do now through church- some of which have helped me find jobs. In short I really believe that I would be far more unhappy if I were not LDS
School- It bothers me sometimes but I really am blessed to be able to go to BYU. It truly is an amazing school great opportunities. I have already learned so much and I love the atmosphere. I never have to worry about being uncomfortable and it really is a blessing to have my religious beliefs be a part of my education.
Roommates- I really do love my roommates, past and present. I have never had a crazy roommate which is pretty amazing considering all the horror stories you hear. Kylee, Taalin, Annie, Macey, and Dahea-you guys are my favorite. Thanks for being awesome.
Snow- The snow really is beautiful. I have to come to love it more since I can't really avoid it. It did get me out of running a 5k this morning.
Health- Although I have been sick it hasn't been immobilizing. I have been able to pretty much do everything I have wanted to without being hindered by physical difficulties, which hasn't always been the case. I love being able to walk without assistance from crutches or without limping.
My Best Friend- So I had to add Dan here. He really is my best friend and is such a great example to me. He has spent the last 4-ish months completely serving others and God. He is an amazing missionary with a great love for the gospel and for the Ukrainian people. I am so lucky to have him as a best friend. He also was an amazing boyfriend and I love him for treating me so well.
etc.

Thanksgivings

I haven't really been openly thankful for much yet but I do have much to be thankful for.

Like...

amazing Air Port workers that got me out of SLC with only an hour of delay

This is the snow we got in 2 hours of blizzard
the snow was falling at this time but I couldn't get a picture of it

The Beautiful snowy Sammamish

view outside "my" room into my back yard

Driving in Sammamy

My awesome family

The Harry Potter exhibition that made my day

If you were wondering- Hogwarts is in Seattle

the opportunity to learn how to make my mother's amazing Thanksgiving turkey

Me with my hand inside a turkey- there was mutual discomfort

And my relatives who fall asleep and unknowingly become a part of my blog...

Grandpa

Uncle John

(and that's just from today)

24 hours

This is what I will be seeing in 24 hours.


I love love love my home

2 days

...I'm going home

"Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby."
-Langston Hughes

ahhh...

So tonight I am not feeling statistics. Seriously I hope I never actually have to use statistics in my career.







I even took a picture to kind of describe my detest for the class/test I have to take tomorrow.







We'll see how it goes. I did get 96% on my music 101 test that I took today

Seriously though I am so glad that this is the LAST math test that I have to take ever!!

yummmm

So this year I have decided that I need to learn how to cook. I started off the year pretty well by making delicious goodies with my master chef of a grandma for Dan while he was in the MTC. Lately though I haven't been so good. I made lunch for my sisters while I was home and I made brownies once by myself but that's easy stuff.

On Wednesday I had a good cooking day. I made Almond Roca Bars (Costco boxed deliciousness) and at Enrichment we made Rocky Mountain Caramel Apples. Yummmm. Um if I could choose one fruit to eat every day it would be a Rocky Mountain Caramel Apple. It was so delicious.

I definitely plan on making more in the future.














Kylee's Key Lime Pie and my Oreo caramel apples

New Artist!

Ok so my friend Lyse writes for an underground paper called the Vanguard. It's pretty awesome. It talks about different view points on politics, student life in Provo, local events especially music, and in the most recent edition an awesome artist! Her name is Emily Fox and I kind of love the article they did on her art work. She is from the Pacific North West so she is automatically amazing. She did her under-grad at Western Washington Univeristy and then continued her education at BYU. She also did an installation at BYU called "Fabricating Womanhood". Her artwork has been seen by some as "dark" but I think it is more... sarcastic if you can call art sarcastic. That isn't even a very good word for it. But however you want to describe it you can't deny that she has talent. She has art work in almost every medium. You should check her out at emilyfoxart.com to see some of her art work.

Reviews...

So I finally did it! I wrote my first song. I've been going to some local band concerts lately and I guess I have finally been inspired. It isn't the best song every written, but it's the best song I've ever written. So here are the lyrics:

Oh what a beautiful little town
That borders the Puget Sound
The skies are always a little gray
But I wouldn't have it any other way
There's only one place I belong more than in this town
And that's anywhere, with you, in your arms

The beach where we played
The sun shined all day
Warm sand and an ocean breeze
The best part was you with me
There's only one place I belong more, than in this town
And that's anywhere, with you, in your arms

Because you're my rain
a constant presence in my brain
Because you're my trees
stay with me forever please
Because for my heart you've won the battle
Baby that's why you're my Seattle

Oh what a beautiful little town
That borders the Puget Sound
The skies are always a little gray
But I wouldn't have it any other way
There's only one place I belong more than in this town
And that's anywhere, with you, in your arms

Because you're my rain
Because you're my trees
Because for my heart you've won the battle
Baby that's why you're my Seattle















me and Dan on Alki beach in West Seattle

So basically it's kind of cheesy, but I kind of like it. If you're wondering it's about my first and so far only boyfriend and also about my favorite place in the world, Seattle.

So let me know what you think, if you think it sucks... please say it kindly.

Lots of Thank You's

It's almost November and I feel the need to give some thanks tonight so here it goes...

Thank you to my amazing roommates that help keep me sane, thanks for being some of the best friends I have ever had

Thank you to my amazing family for all of the support that you give me

Thanks mom for the package :) it made me happy

Thank you to the mail man for bringing me said package and a letter from Dan :) :)

Thank you Dan/Elder Walton for being an amazing missionary and friend. I love you

Thanks for nothing snow :(

and

Thanks to all of my other friends that haven't been mentioned previously, you are all so amazing and I am blessed to have you in my life

just click your heels three times...

Yup, I went home for the weekend. Unfortunately it takes a bit more than 3 clicks of the heels but still a 2 hour flight is worth it. My parents were off running a half marathon in San Francisco so I still had to feed myself along with my sisters but we had fun.




We played on the train tracks and the trains.



Carved pumpkins


And had a breakfast feast.
It was a wonderful trip, but very short.
But there were some beautiful sights on the flight home

Oh BYU...

So sophomore year...
It has definitely been interesting. I love my classes, especially when I don't have homework or tests. My roommates are amazing, especially since there are only 4 of us living in a "6 girl" apartment. Over all definitely a good experience. I love Provo in the fall. It is the one thing in Provo that trumps Seattle, even though I am getting homesick for some cloudy rainy Sammamish days. The leaves are beautiful, it's still pretty warm. I haven't even been able to wear my sweaters yet. October is probably my favorite month here, with November/September as close tied seconds. I just kind of decorated the apartment with the cute new decorations I bought for way cheap, the most expensive thing was $6.50. Gotta love living in a college town. I love decorating :)

"Never frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile"

My grandfather is a wonderful man. He was a social worker and has always made it a point in his life to make other people happy. A trait he has passed on to his son (my dad) and also to me. I plan to follow his foot steps in Sociology, maybe as a social worker. We'll see.
But what is amazing about my grandfather is that he cannot smile. He was born with Moebius Syndrome. Moebius Syndrome (as defined by wikipedia) is "an extremely rare congenital neurological disorder which is characterized by facial paralysis and the inability to move the eyes from side to side. Most people with Möbius syndrome are born with complete facial paralysis and cannot close their eyes or form facial expressions." My grandfather has always been good at making friends and is always talking and meeting new people. He recently went to a Moebius Syndrome conference in Colorado along with many people that also have Moebius or family of those that do. There were people of all ages, from young children to seniors. I learned that he is the oldest living person with Moebius Syndrome.
My grandfather has told me a couple times that I should always smile and never take it for granted because not everyone is blessed with the ability to smile. A lesson that I have not fully taken to heart though I should. We shouldn't take any gift, even seemingly small ones, for granted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY2dWqA2z_Q
This is a video slide show of the conference that he went to. It truly is amazing to see how much of a difference a smile makes.

Can I Rant?

Why yes, yes I can. I can't let this go by any longer with out saying something about it. American's are becoming increasingly less intelligent (which I guess is just decreasingly intelligent...). Anyway, my main gripe is that people, teens and young adults mainly, don't spell things correctly. Okay so I can't really judge on spelling because I suck at spelling but it's not that they don't spell things correctly its that they spell them incorrectly because they spell things the way they sound! It irks me. For example the phrase "what's the matter?" when said quickly is pronounced "what's 'da matter?" or even "what's 'a matter" if the "d" is included in the "t's" in what's. I just saw someone post on face book "whats a matter?". NOT a grammatically correct sentence at all. First of all: if you just said "what's a matter" you are saying what is a matter? Matter is a noun but isn't really a singular object. One could say "what is a form of matter?" or "what is matter?" but "what is a matter?" is incorrect.
So I know that whole first of all suggested that I had a list but I don't... There are other examples. Than doesn't equal then. Than is used in comparisons. The purse is more expensive THAN the wallet. Then is used in progressions like "THEN I went to the store".
There are a LOT of others, I can't think of them now and I'm sure I do the same thing all the time. I will receive my punishment by the grammar gods eventually but until then (not than) it will annoy me.

Also, just found a link to the most commonly misspelled words check it out: http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/misspelled.html

One last thing. The silly English language has all those words that mean different things and are spelled differently but are said the exact same way. I have way's to help me remember so PLEASE come up with your own if these don't help. This bothers me way more but is also way more understandable than my previous gripe.
You're/Your
You're is a contraction of you are its like can't or don't
Your... is not a contraction

They're/Their/There
There is a location like here
They're is a contraction
Their is neither

To/too/two
Two you should just know
Too is like also or too many like too many o's
To you should also just know

Know/no
just know it

(sources) Cite/(eye) Sight/(web) Site
ummm I have definitely struggled with this one and don't know a clever way to keep the separate...

ok done with that, I just had to get that out of my system and I'm bored... not board

Study Abroad...

So I reeeeeeeeeeeeeealy want to go on Study Abroad with BYU. There are a ton of options on almost every continent with so many amazing options it is really hard to choose just one, BUT being the amazingly decisive person I am I have narrowed it down to 2!
So here are the options: Jerusalem Center OR London

Jerusalem Center: I would most likely do Fall of 2011
Pros: Its Jerusalem and who goes there? only cool people who love to travel aka me.
The best teachers go there.
The experience will give me a whole new insight on life and on the life of Christ like nothing else ever ever ever could
Cons: I ideally wanted to do it in the spring/summer time but it is a full semester so it would be spring/summer but i need to work during then or a semester away from school which means that I would have a harder time getting an apartment or selling my room.
It is a really long time in a place that is considered by most of the world pretty dangerous
I'd be taking an intro to Arabic or Hebrew class. Not that I don't like the languages but that kind of scares me.... a lot...

London: I'd probably do it Spring of 2011
Pros: It's London and who doesn't want to go there
It is at the exact time I want it to be and I would be doing a spring semester anyways so why not do it in LONDON
ENGLISH!!! I wouldn't have to learn a language
Cons: It is just London and who does go there? Lotsa people
It is only a quarter if I do it in the spring and it might be hard for me to get a job when I get back
It covers a lot of credits I already have done and doesn't really do anything for my major or suuuuper interesting like Near Easter Studies in Jerusalem.

Anyway... I want your input!

24=104=730

Ok so my best friend/not anymore boyfriend, Dan, was just set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. (aka mormon) So I have a few comments on that. First of all I am so proud of him, it isn't an easy decision to make to go on a mission. He is giving up 2 years of his life to serve the Lord. In two years he could almost be ready to graduate from college, date, make money. If he had a full time job (40 hours a week) at even just we'll say $10 an hour in 104 weeks he could make $41,600. Instead he is going on a mission, where he doesn't get paid, and gives 24/7 service to the Lord. Not many 19 year old guys would do that especially when you consider you can't text, use the internet except once a week to email family, have a cell phone unless your mission allows it and only for church use, call anyone except contacts, your mission prez, and your family twice a year (Christmas and mothers day), and you can't hug girls outside of your family. That is a lot to sacrifice.
2nd thing, there should definitely be a term for the not anymore boyfriend missionary. Me and Dan "ended our relationship" not because of rocky roads, in fact everything was fine and dandy, but because it wouldn't be appropriate to try to take some of Dan's attention away from spreading the gospel. We are still friends, even best friends, and we would still be dating and we aren't exes so he isn't my ex boyfriend or my boyfriend or even just my friend.... anyway you see my dilemma... but thats just kinda petty.
3rd thing: watching a young man get set apart as a missionary is an amazing experience. It is somewhere between getting set apart for a calling and a patriarchal blessing for those of you that know what that is. You are given advice on how to serve and also comfort and kind of vague instruction on what may happen. It is strange but such an amazing experience.
So i think those are all of my "things" about Dan going on a mission. So now I'm just kinda living life... it's a totally different life though because I have been so used to having Dan just always at least a txt away. He truly was my best friend and I relied on him so much. I knew he always loved and cared about me and that he could make me feel better and not having that so close any more is just different not to mention heart breaking. But there are a lot of ways to think about Dan's mission. It could be good or bad, I choose good. The next step in our relationship would probably have been marriage and neither of us are even close for that so this break is really well timed. We both need to grow a little more and I need to date more than just one guy. Even if Dan is "the one" it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we weren't ready to enter that next step. Dan gets back in approximately 730 days, or 104 weeks, or 24 months. Right now I think days and weeks seems a little too long. 24 months means, 24 more fast Sundays, 24 more "that time of the months". Which when you think about it isn't too bad... Weeks its 104 more times going to church, 104 more weekends, 104 more leg shaves... In the time that Dan is gone I will have gone through at least 4 more semesters of school probably even more. I think that one is my favorite. Only 4 more semesters of school until dan gets back... but that also includes holiday breaks, spring and summer, but if I go on study abroad that's 5 more semesters and I will probably do at least one spring or summer semester so that's only 6 semesters and 2 summers which is only like 2 months. I like that one the most. 6 semesters and 2.5 summers (.5 is the last half of this one) until Dan gets back. :) anyway.... you can see where my mind is... i'll write back soonish, now that i have time...

New Dreams

Ok so.... I'm going to be a sophomore at college... so i kinda gotta get a start on this whole future thing so I have some dreams i want to share with the approximately 0 people that read this blog. If you are reading this though... you can pretend that that says 1 person. So today I watched this Humor U skit (Abby Harrison i think...) and it was soo funny. I wish I was that funny. I told my mom that and she said i was sometimes... this is the woman that laughed at my "I feel like I've been "a-salted" joke after eating messy salty fries from McD's" So there went my confidence on that. But I would love to join Humor U. I would love to be... funny I guess, and make people laugh. haha good luck to me. Anyways... More realistic goal, I want to be a sociology major with women studies minor. Figured it out. Bam! The only problem=to do pretty much anything super sociology-y I'd have to get a PhD... ewwwwww. With my degree I'd want to do a study on how dress standards (modest/immodest) affect how much fun girls have in high school, how it affects their goals (what they are/if they're obtained etc.) and other stuff. To do that I would almost definitely need a PhD and I don't want to go to that much school. But we'll see. I've decided that it isn't worth a major change just because it isn't certain. AAAnd I could definitely do something else with a socio major that I love. We'll see. Anyway... since this has been completely pointless post and i really just have nothing to do... let me know if you have any feed back on whatever. peace out rainbow trout

Life...

So far life has been pretty great! I have great roommates, friends, and boyfriend. I really can't complain too much. I think I even know what my major is going to be. Sociology! Well that is if i can pass my current socio class... I've also been doing really well on my English 150 essays! And its an honors class! I'm not sure if you realize how happy that makes me. I've gotten A's on the last two and a B+ on the first one!
Any way I really like my classes. Marriage prep is an amazing class that everyone should take, Socio is fun and interesting but I don't really like the teacher and she gives super hard tests, I love my Book of Mormon teacher, my Bio teacher is hilarious but you can't understand a word he says.
Sooo... the only thing I can kind of complain about is DRAMA! I have some friends that just cause so much unnecessary drama in my life... and in all of my friends lives. It isn't fair to anyone! So I've already confronted one of them... well email isn't very confrontational and it doesn't really work if they don't respond, but I feel a little better about it. But my other drama-mama friend has gotten on my last nerve so I think I'm going to confront him soon cause not talking through this kind of stuff has NEVER worked for me. gahh. I don't like confrontation...
Well that is my current life. I'll try to keep this a little more constant... but no promises